voluntarily suffering
A person on a spiritual path can encounter common problems in life. The question is whether he links them to the light of tomorrow, and thus, is he willing to suffer today. There are many people who agree to searches and restrictions for the sake of future achievements, for example, scientists who conduct scientific research, or mothers willing to endure labor pains and nine months of pregnancy to give birth to a baby.
Although it is suffering, it is chosen voluntarily. Therefore, you cannot say that suffering is always bad. If the goal justifies the suffering, then I am ready to go through it as a payment for the desired outcome. In general it is not clear if I could have achieved this goal without suffering. A free gift is usually not valued because there is no vessel for it, no desire; it is not achieved through one’s own efforts. I have not developed sensitivity for feeling this pleasure.
Spiritual growth
All suffering has a clear goal; the only question is how, by getting involved in the spiritual work, to use suffering purposefully. Suffering then becomes sweet; instead of feeling the suffering, we will enjoy it. Research shows that even at the physiological level, laughter and crying are one and the same process in the body.
When you receive suffering, you must immediately realize that it comes from the force of bestowal and love, and that it is good for the sake of my advancement towards spiritual growth. This entire world means nothing, and all of its petty, vile pricks are just to constantly keep me aimed at the force of love. There is nothing else but love, all this is shown to me to draw my attention so that I would appeal to this force.
Constant turning to the force of love
I put my foot forward to take the next step and turn to the force of love. One more step—I turn to it again, and so on all the time. If I do not take my eyes off this force, then I will not stumble. Thus, we advance toward the connection with the force of love until we enter the state of a spiritual embryo.
I should always feel some deficiency so that I have a reason to turn back to love again. Every time I get a stimulus, it directs me toward “There is no other force but love” When I fulfill the measure corresponding to the root of my soul, perform a sufficient amount of actions that return me to love and I associate them with love, I begin to feel that I am in a blessed field of love. I feel myself in this field of bestowal.
Spiritual embryo
This is the attainment of the state of spiritual embryo. And before that, there is preparation for it, excitement: we are pulled towards love and pushed away from it, pulls and pushes away. I want to constantly depend on love, no matter if I am feeling good or bad. I rise above the external cause that pushed me towards love and just want to be inside it!
It is necessary to constantly search and collect the desires leading one to the entry to the embryo. The force of love awakens the excitement, a new desire in me to receive, and when I feel bad, I start looking for love again and reach a certain connection with it. Then there awakens another desire to receive in me, and I seek for love again. And so every time: start – stop, entry – exit. This way I feel more and more that all is governed by one force of love, encompassing the feelings of good and bad.